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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28603479">I Get To See The Sun Again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenCelestial/pseuds/BrokenCelestial'>BrokenCelestial</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Background Relationships, Death, Friends to Lovers, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kenny Dies, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, My First South Park Fic, Slow Burn, Smoking, Time Loop, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:07:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28603479</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenCelestial/pseuds/BrokenCelestial</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenny dies all the time, so it’s no surprise that he gets hit by a car and wakes up in his bed. The only problem is it’s the same day and everything seems a bit too familiar. Surviving a day in South Park is simple compared to surviving the same day over and over again.</p>
<p>In other words, Kenny gets stuck in a time loop. Oh no.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Same Boring Shit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Look, guys, I don’t really know what I’m doing. My brother got me into South Park and it’s now one of the few things giving me serotonin, so here we are. I hope you like it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kenny’s day was started particularly well. He woke up to a quiet home and sun filtering in through his window. It was a warm sun, it wasn’t harsh and it didn’t make him want to cover his eyes. He knew that it was going to be a nice day, he wouldn’t have to worry about freezing his ass off or about baking in his parka.  This sun meant that the following day would be as good as any day could be in South Park. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Checking his phone, Kenny was impressed that he had managed to wake up on time. He wasn’t even a minute late. He got out of bed and pulled on the first pair of jeans he could find and a t-shirt. He yanked his trusty orange parka off the edge of his bed and dragged his backpack to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The house being quiet was welcome, but it meant that Kenny would have to be extra careful when making breakfast. Not for himself of course, but for Karen. Even if the McCormicks didn’t have the means, Kenny would be damned if he let Karen out of the house without something in her belly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled the last two eggs from the refrigerator and made a mental note to pick some up from the store after school. He got to work scrambling the eggs. It wasn’t a process he could rush, no matter how many times Kenny had tried, the eggs would always scramble in the same amount of time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the eggs were on a plate Kenny went to knock on his sister’s door. “Karen,” he called softly, “I made you breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karen emerged from her room, brown hair still in the same pigtails she had insisted on wearing since she was a kid and a kind smile. She hugged Kenny as a thank you and rushed to the kitchen. It only took her a matter of seconds to scarf down the eggs. She then grabbed her coat and slung her backpack on her shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready to go?” She asked, her smile still plastered on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you in such a hurry?” Kenny asked, laughing. “Did you light something on fire again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite his teasing, Kenny had also grabbed his backpack and held the door open for his younger sibling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” Karen said, rushing past him, “It’s just that we’re doing some final reviews in history class, for our projects, and if we do a well enough job we get to be placed in advanced classes next year!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny offered his sister a huge smile, “That’s great Karen!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know! I want to get there early so that I can make sure everything is in order. I don’t want to be missing something today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karen continued to babble excitedly about her project as the two of them made their way to school. Even if Kenny didn’t add much to the conversation, he enjoyed it. His sister’s excitement meant more to him than she would ever know. It was one of the few things about this town that made it okay. Then again, even if they didn’t live in South Park he’d still have Karen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the school was in their sights Karen launched herself to the doors at full speed. “See you after school!” She called back to Kenny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and waved at her. Kenny hadn’t even put his hood up yet. His morning had been better than average so Kenny was now expecting some sort of catastrophe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And catastrophe he got. Waiting for him at his locker was none other than Eric Cartman with pure rage fixed in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny shoved him out of the way to open his locker. “What’s got your panties in a bunch?” He asked acidicly, not really wanting to deal with his shenanigans so early in the morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m so glad you asked,” Cartman replied even though they both knew he would have launched into a rant anyway, “Kyle is the fucking worst! That fucking Jew! I’m gonna fucking kill him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny sighed, “Why what’d he do this time? Fuck your mom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Worse!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’ll bite. What did Kyle do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kyle tricked Stan into loving him!” Cartman yelled. There was some panic in his tone, but Kenny didn’t really want to deal with it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did Kyle tell you this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Stan told me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He told you that Kyle tricked him into loving him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Stan just told me that he’s in love with Kyle!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Kyle didn’t actually trick Stan into loving him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cartman sighed, “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how is this Kyle’s fault?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He made Stan a fag! He turned Stan into a fag! Kyle’s gonna- he’s gonna turn Stan against us! Stan’s gonna-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do realize I’m gay, right?” Kenny interjects, not willing to listen to Cartman’s paranoia any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re bisexual, it doesn’t count,” Cartman said easily, “But I can save Stan!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up, dude,” Kenny sighed. He really didn’t want to hear it. And then he spotted his savior. “See you at lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny crossed the sea of teenagers to find the boy, leaving Carman sputtering angrily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Leo,” Kenny said coolly while he tossed his arm around Butters’ shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters was stunned for a moment but then relaxed after realizing it was just Kenny. “Hiya, Ken. I don’t mean to pry, but isn’t your first class in the other direction?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Kenny laughed, “But I needed an escape from fatass over there. He’s spouting some bullcrap about how Kyle is the at-fault for Stan being gay. I think he’s just jealous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters laughed at that. It wasn’t a pretty laugh. It was very ugly and harsh, and sometimes it tricked into a giggle. When they were in grade school Cartman always used it as ammunition against the blond boy. Kenny never saw what the problem was, he always found it endearing. Butters’ laugh was uniquely Butters, and Kenny loved it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To be fair, he loved everything about Butters, but that was between Kenny and the dirt he’d rather be buried in instead of admitting that fact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gee, well, I’m glad to be of service Kenny. But I really gotta go. I’ll see you at lunch though!” Butters gave him a big smile as if to make up for the short conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Buttercup. See you at lunch!” Kenny snickered to himself as he watched the blush form on his friend's cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Classes were just as boring as always. Even with the looming SATs and finals class wasn’t worth spending extra energy in. Besides, Kenny knew what would happen to him after high school. Everyone else did too, not that they’d ever admit to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But at least they passed quickly. As soon as the bell rang all the students scurried to the cafeteria. Kids who needed to buy lunches fought their way to a good place in line and all the kids who had brought their own lunch made their way to the tables to secure good places for their friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny however was neither of these kids. The school had been kind enough to supply lunches for him and his sister, and whoever else was like them, but those lunches were handed out after all the other kids got the lunch they paid for. So he made his way to the table his friends would soon populate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny had always figured that this arrangement was the school's way to try to humiliate them. Kenny would never let that happen. And despite his wishes, the last kid (who wasn’t Cartman) who tried to insult Kenny for this became no more than a black and blue mess, courtesy of Stan and Kyle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However much damage that they caused when Stan and Kyle got to the kid, all would end well, besides for a few black eyes or broken noses here or there. There was still a worse fate to be had. If </span>
  <em>
    <span>Butters</span>
  </em>
  <span> got involved, all the kids of South Park High would pray for the lowly soul who evokes Butters’ fury. No kid ever came out of that situation the same, and Butters didn’t even need to use his fists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny always found it impressive, if not a bit scary. He never asked what Butters did or said. It wasn’t something that needed saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Kenny,” Kyle said, sitting across from Kenny and placing his lunchbox on the table and sighing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Sup,” Kenny said. He looked up and had to stifle a laugh when he saw Kyle’s eyes shifting quickly around the room. “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Kyle’s eyes darted to Kenny, “Oh, yeah. All good, dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Kenny raised an eyebrow, “And it has nothing to do with a certain someone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that Stan appeared behind Kyle. “Hey, guys! What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh nothing,” Kenny said, a wicked smile dawning on his face. “Did you hear Carman’s rant yet? He’s pissed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No” Stan sat down and picked up a French fry. It was a miracle that he had gotten food from the cafeteria before Cartman had. “What’s he upset about this time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny gasped dramatically, “You mean he hasn’t told you that he wants to kill Kyle for something very specific?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stan’s cheeks immediately went pick as he shot a glance over at Kyle. “He told you!?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, don’t worry though, these lips are sealed,” Kenny responded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Kyle said, scowling, “I’d like to know why fatass wants to kill me this time. It seems like something you should tell a man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is a question for Stan,” Kenny said while he stood up to go to the lunch line. It earned him a death glare from Stan and a very quiet but nonetheless angry “what the fuck” from Kyle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny just laughed at himself as he walked across the cafeteria. It took almost all of his power to not burst out laughing when he looked back and saw Kyle hitting Stan with his lunchbox. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heya Kenny,” a bubbly voice said from behind him. Kenny turned to see Butters smiling up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny gave him a warm smile back, “Hey Leo, what are you doing at the back of the line? Don’t you normally get here early?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was waiting for you,” Butters replied quietly, “I wanted to tell you something. Well, uh, ask you something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Butters, that’s really sweet of you, but you could have just asked me at the table. It could have saved you the wait.” Kenny frowned a bit. Butters always put others first, but he always tended to do it at the stake of himself. Like getting cold food and possibly not having enough time to eat lunch. And for what? To </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk </span>
  </em>
  <span>to Kenny? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t really want the fellas to hear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay,” Kenny offered him a small smile and stepped up to close the gap that had formed between him and the next kid in line. “What’s up, Leo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering…” He paused and took a deep breath, “wouldyoumaybewanttosneakoutagaintonightanddosomething?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny looked warmly at the shorter blond. “Of course Leo. What do you want to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I really didn’t think that far,” Butters knocked his knuckles together and looked at the ground. “I didn’t think you’d say yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When have I ever turned down a chance to hang out with you, Buttercup,” Kenny lightly touched Butters’s nose with his pointer finger and Butters turned an even deeper shade of red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny was always a very handsy friend. Whether it be punching Stan on the shoulder, playing with Craig's hair and pulling his hat over his eyes, or hugs touching his friends’ faces, he was always touching them. And pet names or nicknames rolled off his tongue as if it were their actual name. Butters was not new to any of this. But no matter how many times Kenny called him Buttercup or pulled him into a hug, he would never get used to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Butters could respond, however, the drone of a lunch lady started slopping food onto a tray for him and told him to move along. But when they had both gotten lunch Butters didn’t dare bring it up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny sat back down in his seat, only elbowing Cartman slightly to get him to move. Butters sat to the other side of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenny please tell Kyle I am not talking to him,” Cartman said. This was not the first time he had decided to pretend that Kyle wasn't there and it wasn’t the first time that he decided to talk to him through Kenny and Stan. But this was also one of the few times that Kenny was not invested, on account of how ridiculous the whole situation was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kyle, how is your lunch?” Kenny asked him, pretending as if Cartman wasn’t trying to speak through him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be fine,” Kyle said, “If people would tell me what is happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, dude,” Stan turned to him, “There’s nothing happening!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The fuck nothing is happening Stan!” Cartman yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny heard a quiet thump and could only assume that Stan had kicked him in the leg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck dude!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” Stan was practically glowering at this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, clearly something is up,” Kyle said, his voice rising a little, “but since you obviously don’t want me to know about whatever it is, I’ll just leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that Kyle gathered his lunch and got up. He didn’t ever go to another table, he just left the lunchroom all together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great. Now he’s mad at me. Are you happy now?” Stan reached across the table to try to hit Cartman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Because maybe he’ll lift his spell on you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What spell?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The spell Kyle placed on you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kyle didn’t place a spell on me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny, rather than get involved, dug into his food and made small talk with Butters. There wasn’t much there, so it didn’t take him very long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well fuck you, Stan!” Cartman slammed his hand on the table while standing up. He stormed off to throw out his tray. He wasn't looking where he was going though and slammed into an unsuspecting Wendy. “Watch it whore!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whole cafeteria suddenly went quiet, expecting the storm about to come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you call me?” Wendy said slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You heard me, whore,” Cartman growled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before anyone knew what was happening Wendy’s fist collided with Cartman's nose. His hands flew up to his nones, blood trickling down his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You bitch!” He cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch it Cartman, I can do more than just break your nose,” she said coolly before walking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” Stan gasped, “Remind me to thank her later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the day passed slowly. Even the pop quiz assigned in history didn’t manage to spice up the day. Kenny could barely keep his eyes open, it wasn’t until a crumpled up piece of paper hit his head. When he picked it up he saw scribbled on it “meet at my house after school” written in Stan’s hand writing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed to himself as he thought of the possible disaster to come. Specifically, the one that would involve this hate/love triangle that was his friend group. With the chaos that surrounded him, he longed to just shrug them off to hang out with Butters, Craig, and Tweek. That was always simple and easy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that was a lie. Not that Kenny would ever admit it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Craig and Tweek fit together perfectly. And while they talked and laughed at the diner table, Kenny would find himself looking over at Butters and </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It wouldn’t last. He’d always push the thoughts down until maybe they would die. So far, it hadn’t worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scrawled his response on the back of Stan’s note. “Sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenny sat awkwardly between Stan and Kyle as they watched Cartman pace and rant. No one was really paying attention anymore, Stan was scrolling through his phone and Kyle was resting his head on the side of the couch almost asleep. Kenny, out of courtesy and checking his phone every few minutes, pretended that he was paying attention. Honestly, he didn’t remember a single thing that Cartman had said. Butters on the other hand, who was sitting in the armchair, looked like he was hanging onto every word he was saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... I think we have to kill Kyle,” Cartman stated as if it were obvious, and everyone’s head shot up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck,” Kyle said tiredly, not really making an effort to even sit up. This happened almost weekly, Cartman had found a new reason to end his friend, this week, however, no one would tell Kyle why, so he didn’t feel the need to be all that involved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stan almost launched himself at Cartman, Kenny pulled him back on the couch. “Watch it, fatass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Protecting your boyfriend now, huh.” Cartman snarled, “God, he really has got his claws in you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Catman, we get it.” Kenny decided to play peacemaker. He could feel how tense Stan was and he didn’t want to give him something else to freak out over. “Leave Kyle alone and sit down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course that’s what you’d say with </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> boyfriend watching.” Then under his breath, he added, “Fucking fags.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Earlier today you said being bi didn’t count, why are you attacking me now?” Kenny was tired, he wanted to go home, not deal with this nonsense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m not insulting you,” A wicked smile dawned on his lips, “Butters won't you control Kenny?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters looked alarmed and started sputtering, “What? Uh, I cant- that’s not- I- what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re all a bunch of fags.” Cartman grumbled, “That’s why all your parents hate you. They just can’t stand that your all gay. Even if they don’t do anything about it. Except, well, Butters. I mean they keep you locked in your room for a reason. They just can't stand having a faggot as a son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was all it took. Kenny launched himself at Cartman. He could insult any of them, except for Butters. Especially about his parents. And no one would stop Kenny anyway. Stan was even contemplating joining him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop it!” A voice cried. Everyone looked up to see Butters, his eyes welling up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny immediately stood up and backed away from Cartman. He looked pleadingly over to his friend. He would have gone to him to try to comfort him, but he knew he was part of the reason he was crying. Butters always hated when Kenny did anything reckless, the way he’d plead never quite sat right with him, but he always listened. How could he say no to Butters?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leo?” He asked, to see if he could approach him, “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters face twisted, but he kept himself quiet. He would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> cry in front of anyone. Instead, he grabbed his bag and ran out the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Way to go, fatass,” Kyle said, pushing himself up off the couch. “Stan, I’m going to go wait in your room, I don’t really want to deal with all this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, yeah. I’ll tell my mom that you’re the only one staying.” He replied as he ushered Kenny and Cartman got the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny pushed Cartman out of the way as he left Stan’s house. As soon as he was outside he broke into a run. Going the only direction he could think of. To Butters. He assumed he was going to go straight home and lock himself away from his friends. It’s what he normally did. Kenny still had an invitation for a sneak out. If Butters was still up for it. Either way, he still had some apologizing to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah to your boyfriend, fag!” Cartman called out acidicly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenny carefully climbed up the tree and sat on the branch, back braced against the trunk, and waited. After doing this so many times, he laughed a little as he remembered all of Butters’ fretting over how dangerous climbing a tree could be. “If you come out too far, the branch could snap!” He’d always say. Kenny didn’t want to worry him tonight and he wasn’t too keen on accidentally dying before he could apologize.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun slowly set above the town and the blue sky melted to an orange and purple one. It was calming, and it wasn't too long before the only light came from the moon and stars above. Soon the room he sat across from was flooded with light and Kenny saw Butters walking in, head down. Kenny waited a moment before taping on the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters head shot up and Kenny’s stomach dropped. Besides from the red and watery eyes that told him the boy had been crying, there was a fresh purple bruise forming on his cheek. He moved to open the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Butters asked quietly, almost like he was surprised that Kenny had shown up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny took that as an invitation to crawl through the window. “You asked me to sneak out with you,” He said matter-of-factory as he sat on Butters’ bed. He looked up into his eyes before Butters quickly turned away, “And I came to say that I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have gotten into a fight with Cartman. Even though he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> attack(or insult?) you. I know how much you hate it when I do “stupid” things like that. And I hate seeing you cry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for getting in that stupid fight. I’m sorry for making you cry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Butters gasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny tried to give him a small smile, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgive you,” Butters sat next to Kenny on his bed, “But you didn’t make me cry. There’s not really anything for you to apologize for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leo,” Kenny dropped his voice and shot him a glance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenny, you didn’t. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why were you crying then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really want to talk about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, then will you talk about this?” Kenny’s figures lightly brushed against Butters’ bruise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knocked his knuckles together and stared at his bed. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Kenny in the eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Kenny said softly, his eyes scanning Butters’ face. He nudged him a little, “Come on, let's go for a walk.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A walk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to sneak out, come on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, lemme grab a-“ But before Butters could grab anything Kenny was dragging him to the window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go first, to help you out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How chivalrous,” Butters said, a small smile finally finding its place on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything for my Buttercup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them climbed carefully down the tree. Butters didn’t relax until Kenny was safely on the ground next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where do you wanna go, Leo?” Kenny asked, tossing his arm around Butters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The park?” He asked, more than said. No matter how many times they had done this, he still never quite knew where he wanted to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny nodded wordlessly and steered the two of them in the direction of the park. It was a quiet night, so neither boy really wanted to talk. Peace and quiet in South Park was rare, so when anyone ever had some, they made the best of it. Tonight they could hear the crickets, despite the cold air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny still had his arm around his friends' shoulders. He saw him shiver a bit, he probably should have waited for Butters to grab a coat. Silently, Kenny shrugged off his parka and placed it around the short blonde's shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look cold,” He mumbled when Butters gave him a questioning look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned away before he could see a faint blush on Butters’ cheeks that wasn’t from the cold. “Thanks, Kenny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Kenny said quietly after a while, “I missed doing this, it’s fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even though we’re just walking?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, even though we’re just walking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny risked a glance at his friend. He was smiling and looking up at the sky, filled with stars. His cheeks were rosy from the cold. He looked beat-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one would remember this, but Kenny would. Getting hit by a car feels a lot different than he expected. He’d never gotten run over before. His body was propelled into the air and he came crashing down on the cold pavement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He assumed he had cracked his skull, he could feel the blood pooling under his head and clinging to his hair. It gave him a terrible headache. The worst part was the sharp pain in his chest, it was probably a few broken ribs, maybe something had ruptured, Kenny couldn’t tell. It was the most pain he had ever been in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a slow death, he couldn’t do anything to get it to go faster, he was too focused on the screaming coming from…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Butters!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny opened his eyes to see the blonde kneeling over him, sobbing. “Kenny! Kenny! You’ll be okay, the driver- he’s calling you an ambulance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sucked in a breath and reached up, despite the horrid pain it caused him, to place a hand on Butters cheek to wipe his tears away. He didn’t have the strength to keep it up though, and he had left blood on Butters’ face,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” He choked out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, it’ll come off.” Butters cried. “Please don’t leave me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenny tried his best to sit up to look Butters in the eye. “I’ll come back. I always do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but couldn’t you just have a night where you didn’t die?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” There was definitely something off about that statement, but the sharp pain in his skull prevented him from trying to figure it out. He promised himself he’d never get hit by a car again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just come back to me soon,” Butters had quieted his crying now, but he was gripping Kenny’s hand like it was the end of the world. “Kenny, not too long this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leo,” Kenny whimpered before everything went black.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Are You Sure We Haven’t Had This Conversation?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just a fair warning, this chapter is a little similar to the last chapter, but there's a reason for that. The next chapter will be different, I promise.</p>
<p>I have also decided to hopefully update every Friday!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Kenny woke up his house was quiet and the sun was filtering in through his window. His head was pounding but the warm sun was pleasant and didn’t make his headache worse. It wasn’t harsh and it didn’t make him want to cover his eyes. The sun told him that it was going to be a nice day, he wouldn’t have to worry about freezing his ass off or about baking in his parka. This sun meant that the following day would be as good as any day could be in South Park. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Checking his phone, Kenny was impressed that he had managed to wake up on time. He wasn’t even a minute late. Though the date seemed wrong, he just shrugged it off. He got out of bed and pulled on the first pair of jeans he could find and a t-shirt. He yanked his trusty orange parka off the edge of his bed and dragged his backpack to the kitchen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The house being quiet was welcome, but it meant that Kenny would have to be extra careful when making breakfast. Not for himself of course, but for Karen. Even if the McCormicks didn’t have the means, Kenny would be damned if he let Karen out of the house without something in her belly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled the last two eggs from the refrigerator and made a mental note to pick some up from the store after school. He got to work scrambling the eggs. It wasn’t a process he could rush, no matter how many times Kenny had tried, the eggs would always scramble in the same amount of time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the eggs were on a plate Kenny went to knock on his sister’s door. “Karen,” he called softly, “I made you breakfast.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karen emerged from her room, brown hair still in the same pigtails she had insisted on wearing since she was a kid and a kind smile. She hugged Kenny as thanks and rushed to the kitchen. It only took her a matter of seconds to scarf down the eggs. She then grabbed her coat and slung her backpack on her shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ready to go?” She asked, her smile still plastered on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you in such a hurry?” Kenny asked, laughing. “Did you light something on fire again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words felt familiar on his tounge, like he had said them before. Maybe his headache </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> affecting him. But he just grabbed his backpack and held the door open for his younger sibling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” Karen said, rushing past him, “It’s just that we’re doing some final reviews in history class, for our projects, and if we do a well enough job we get to be placed in advanced classes next year!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t you do final reviews yesterday?” Kenny stopped in his tracks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karen gave him a funny look, but kept walking, “No, silly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” was all he could say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Karen continued to babble excitedly about her project as the two of them made their way to school. Even if Kenny didn’t add much to the conversation, he enjoyed it. His sister’s excitement meant more to him than she would ever know. It was one of the few things about this town that made it okay. Then again, even if they didn’t live in South Park he’d still have Karen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as the school was in their sights Karen launched herself to the doors at full speed. “See you after school!” She called back to Kenny.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled and waved at her. Kenny hadn’t even put his hood up yet. His morning had been better than average so Kenny was now expecting some sort of catastrophe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And catastrophe he got. Waiting for him at his locker was none other than Eric Cartman with pure rage fixed in his eyes. Hadn’t Cartman just done this yesterday? Did he really have to do this again?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny shoved him out of the way to open his locker. “What’s got your panties in a bunch?” He asked, confused and a bit annoyed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m so glad you asked,” Cartman replied, “Kyle is the fucking worst! That fucking Jew! I’m gonna fucking kill him!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Weren’t you just complaining about this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, that was about something else, Kenny,” Cartman shot back, “God, being poor must be affecting your memory huh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up, asshole,” Kenny slammed his locker shut, “Tell me what on Earth did Kyle did this time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyle tricked Stan into loving him!” Cartman yelled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God, I thought we went over this yesterday,” Kenny rubbed his eyes, “Kyle didn’t trick Stan into loving him. Who Stan loves is none of your fucking business!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We didn’t go over this yesterday!” Cartman practically screamed, “That faggot is ruining everything!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up about everyone being a faggot Cartman! I’m a faggot too! So shut your fucking mouth or I’ll shut it for you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cartman held up his hands in surrender, “What the fuck is up with you today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His shoulders deflate as he shuts his locker, “Nothing, just don’t be such a dick, huh?” And then Kenny spots a short blond boy in the crowd of children, an excuse to leave Catman in the dust, but that's not why Kenny elbowed his way through his peers to get to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Leo,” Kenny said coolly while he tossed his arm around Butters’ shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters was stunned for a moment but then relaxed after realizing it was just Kenny. “Hiya, Ken. I don’t mean to pry, but isn’t your first class in the other direction?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is,” Kenny laughed, “But I needed an escape from fatass over there. He’s spouting some bullcrap about how Kyle is at fault for Stan being gay. I think he’s just jealous.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters laughed at that. It wasn’t a pretty laugh. It was very ugly and harsh, and sometimes it tricked into a giggle. When they were in grade school Cartman always used it as ammunition against the blond boy. Kenny never saw what the problem was, he always found it endearing. Butters’ laugh was uniquely Butters, and Kenny loved it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To be fair, he loved everything about Butters, but that was between Kenny and the dirt he’d rather be buried in instead of admitting that fact.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Had he thought that before? The thought felt familiar, but Kenny just decided he was having a bad case of Deja Vu. He chalked that up as a side effect to dying so often.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gee, well, I’m glad to be of service Kenny. But I really gotta go. I’ll see you at lunch though!” Butters gave him a big smile as if to make up for the short conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, Buttercup. See you at lunch!” Kenny snickered to himself as he watched the blush form on his friend's cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Classes were just as boring as always, they went over yesterday’s material in every class, it was beyond boring and completely useless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But at least they passed quickly. As soon as the bell rang all the students scurried to the cafeteria. Kids who needed to buy lunches fought their way to a good place in line and all the kids who had brought their own lunch made their way to the tables to secure good places for their friends. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny however was neither of these kids. The school had been kind enough to supply lunches for him and his sister, and whoever else was like them, but those lunches were handed out after all the other kids got the lunch they paid for. So he made his way to the table his friends would soon populate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Kenny,” Kyle said, sitting across from Kenny and placing his lunchbox on the table and sighing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘Sup,” Kenny said. He looked up and had to stifle a laugh when he saw Kyle’s eyes shifting quickly around the room. “You okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?” Kyle’s eyes darted to Kenny, “Oh, yeah. All good, dude.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Kenny raised an eyebrow, “And it has nothing to do with a certain someone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And just like that Stan appeared behind Kyle. “Hey, guys! What’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh nothing,” Kenny said, a wicked smile dawning on his face. “Did you hear Carman’s rant yet? He’s pissed. It’s really fucking annoying, he just keeps going on and on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Stan sat down and picked up a French fry. It was a miracle that he had gotten food from the cafeteria before Cartman had. “What’s he upset about this time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny gasped dramatically, “You mean he hasn’t told you that he wants to kill Kyle for something very specific?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stan’s cheeks immediately went pink as he shot a glance over at Kyle. “He told you!?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, don’t worry though, these lips are sealed,” Kenny responded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know,” Kyle said, scowling, “I’d like to know why fatass wants to kill me this time. It seems like something you should tell a man.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That is a question for Stan,” Kenny said while he stood up to go to the lunch line. It earned him a death glare from Stan and a very quiet but nonetheless angry “what the fuck” from Kyle. Kenny just laughed at himself as he walked across the cafeteria. It took almost all of his power to not burst out laughing when he looked back and saw Kyle hitting Stan with his lunchbox. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Heya Kenny,” a bubbly voice said from behind him. Kenny turned to see Butters smiling up at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny gave him a warm smile back, “Hey Leo, what are you doing at the back of the line? Don’t you normally get here early?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was waiting for you,” Butters replied quietly, “I wanted to tell you something. Well, uh, ask you something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Butters, that’s really sweet of you, but you could have just asked me at the table. It could have saved you the wait.” Kenny frowned a bit. He had done this yesterday too, if he kept doing this, he would end up not getting to eat lunch. Butters always put others first, but he always tended to do it at the stake of himself. Like getting cold food and possibly not having enough time to eat lunch. And for what? To </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk </span>
  </em>
  <span>to Kenny? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t really want the fellas to hear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, okay,” Kenny offered him a small smile and stepped up to close the gap that had formed between him and the next kid in line. “What’s up, Leo?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was wondering…” He paused and took a deep breath, “wouldyoumaybewanttosneakoutagaintonightanddosomething?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny looked warmly at the shorter blond. “Of course Leo. What do you want to do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I really didn’t think that far,” Butters knocked his knuckles together and looked at the ground. “I didn’t think you’d say yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When have I ever turned down a chance to hang out with you, Buttercup,” Kenny lightly touched Butters’s nose with his pointer finger and Butters turned an even deeper shade of red. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Butters could respond, the drone of a lunch lady started slopping food onto a tray for him and told him to move along. Even when they had both gotten lunch Butters didn’t dare bring it up again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny sat back down in his seat, only elbowing Cartman slightly to get him to move. Butters sat on the other side of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kenny, please tell Kyle I am not talking to him,” Cartman said. This was not the first time he had decided to pretend that Kyle wasn't there and it wasn’t the first time that he decided to talk to him through Kenny and Stan. But this was also one of the few times that Kenny was not invested.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyle, how is your lunch?” Kenny asked him, pretending as if Cartman wasn’t trying to speak through him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It would be fine,” Kyle said, “If people would tell me what is happening.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you, dude,” Stan turned to him, “There’s nothing happening!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The fuck nothing is happening Stan!” Cartman yelled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny heard a quiet thump and could only assume that Stan had kicked him in the leg.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck dude!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up.” Stan was practically glowering at this point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, clearly something is up,” Kyle said, his voice rising a little, “but since you obviously don’t want me to know about whatever it is, I’ll just leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that Kyle gathered his lunch and got up. He didn’t ever go to another table, he just left the lunchroom altogether.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great. Now he’s mad at me. Are you happy now?” Stan reached across the table to try to hit Cartman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. Because maybe he’ll lift his spell on you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What spell?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The spell Kyle placed on you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyle didn’t place a spell on me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny, rather than get involved, dug into his food and made small talk with Butters. There wasn’t much there, so it didn’t take him very long. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well fuck you, Stan!” Cartman slammed his hand on the table while standing up. He stormed off to throw out his tray. He wasn't looking where he was going through and slammed into an unsuspecting Wendy. “Watch it whore!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The whole cafeteria suddenly went quiet, expecting the storm about to come.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you call me?” Wendy said slowly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You heard me, whore,” Cartman growled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before anyone knew what was happening Wendy’s fist collided with Cartman's nose. His hands flew up and had started blood trickling down his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You bitch!” He cried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Watch it Cartman, I can do more than just break your nose,” she said coolly before walking away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” Stan gasped, “Remind me to thank her later.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On the way back to classes, Kenny’s mind was racing. Wendy had punched Cartman. She had also punched him yesterday. Cartman today didn't have a broken nose until lunch. Everyone was repeating things they had said yesterday. Cartman was just as mad as he was at his locker yesterday morning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Placed on his desk in history was a pop quiz, his eyes scanned the whole page, almost the size of saucers by the time he had gotten to the bottom of it. Something was very, very wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was only when the crumpled piece of paper hit the back of his head when he realized. Kenny ran out of the classroom, barely even making it to a trashcan before throwing up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny sat between Stan and Kyle as they watched Cartman pace and rant. It had taken everything for him to not throw up again, and as it was he could barely pay attention to what was happening around him. He prayed to whatever god was there that he’s wake up and it would all be over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... I think we have to kill Kyle,” Cartman stated as if it were obvious, and everyone’s head shot up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the fuck,” Kyle said tiredly, not really making an effort to even sit up. This happened almost weekly, Cartman had found a new reason to end his friend, this week, however, no one would tell Kyle why, so he didn’t feel the need to be all that involved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stan almost launched himself at Cartman, Kenny pulled him back on the couch. “Watch it, fatass.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Protecting your boyfriend now, huh.” Cartman snarled, “God, he really has got his claws in you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, Catman, we get it.” Kenny decided to play peacemaker. Sure, even if what he thought was happening was happening he couldn’t just let everything fall to pieces. He could feel how tense Stan was and he didn’t want to give him something else to freak out over. “Leave Kyle alone and sit down asshole.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course that’s what you’d say with </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> boyfriend watching.” Then under his breath, he added, “Fucking fags.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cartman shut the fuck up. We get it, you’re upset, take your little bitchfest somewhere else.” Kenny was tired, he wanted to go home, not deal with this nonsense. And now he had other things to worry about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A wicked smile dawned on his lips, “Butters, won't you control Kenny?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters head shot up as he tore his eyes from his phone, looking alarmed and started sputtering, “What? Uh, I cant- that’s not- I- what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re all a bunch of fags.” Cartman grumbled, “That’s why all your parents hate you. They just can’t stand that your all gay. Even if they don’t do anything about it. Except, well, Butters. I mean they keep you locked in your room for a reason. They just can't stand having a faggot as a son.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even with the day he had had, that was all it took. Kenny launched himself at Cartman. He could insult any of them, except for Butters. Especially about his parents. And no one would stop Kenny anyway. Stan was even contemplating joining him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop it!” A voice cried. Everyone looked up to see Butters, his eyes welling up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny immediately stood up and backed away from Cartman. He looked pleadingly over to his friend. He would have gone to him to try to comfort him, but he knew he was part of the reason he was crying. Butters always hated when Kenny did anything reckless, the way he’d plead never quite sat right with him, but he always listened. How could he say no to Butters?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leo?” He asked, to see if he could approach him, “Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters face twisted, but he kept himself quiet. He would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> cry in front of anyone. Instead, he grabbed his bag and ran out the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Way to go, fatass,” Kyle said, pushing himself up off the couch. “Stan, I’m going to go wait in your room, I don’t really want to deal with all this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, yeah. I’ll tell my mom that you’re the only one staying.” He replied as he ushered Kenny and Cartman got the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny pushed Cartman out of the way as he left Stan’s house. As soon as he was outside he broke into a run. Even repeating yesterday's event, he still had to go and fuck it up. Kenny was really hoping he could fix whatever was wrong. Maybe he could fix all of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, run to your boyfriend, fag!” Cartman called acidicly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny carefully climbed up the tree and sat on the branch, back braced against the trunk, and waited. After doing this so many times, he laughed a little as he remembered all of Butters’ fretting over how dangerous climbing a tree could be. “If you come out too far, the branch could snap!” He’d always say. Kenny didn’t want to worry him tonight and he wasn’t too keen on accidentally dying before he could apologize.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sun slowly set above the town and the blue sky melted into an orange and purple one. It was calming, and it wasn't too long before the only light came from the moon and stars above. Soon the room he sat across from was flooded with light and Kenny saw Butters walking in, head down. Kenny waited a moment before taping on the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters head shot up and Kenny’s stomach dropped. Besides the red and watery eyes that told him the boy had been crying, there was a fresh purple bruise forming on his cheek. He moved to open the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Butters asked quietly, almost like he was surprised that Kenny had shown up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny took that as an invitation to crawl through the window. “You asked me to sneak out with you,” He said matter-of-factory as he sat on Butters’ bed. He looked up into his eyes before Butters quickly turned away, “And I came to say that I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have gotten into a fight with Cartman. Even though he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> insult you. I know how much you hate it when I do “stupid” things like that. And I hate seeing you cry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for getting in that stupid fight. I’m sorry for making you cry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He said the words anyway, even though he had a feeling about what Butters's response would be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Butters gasped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny tried to give him a small smile, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I forgive you,” Butters sat next to Kenny on his bed, “But you didn’t make me cry. There’s not really anything for you to apologize for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leo,” Kenny dropped his voice and shot him a glance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kenny, you didn’t. I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why were you crying then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t really want to talk about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, then will you talk about this?” Kenny’s figures lightly brushed against Butters’ bruise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knocked his knuckles together and stared at his bed. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Kenny in the eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Kenny said softly, his eyes scanning Butters’ face. He nudged him a little, “Come on, let's go for a walk.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A walk?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanted to sneak out, come on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, lemme grab a-“ But before Butters could grab anything Kenny was dragging him to the window. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll go first, to help you out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How chivalrous,” Butters said, a small smile finally finding its place on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything for my Buttercup.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them climbed carefully down the tree. Butters didn’t relax until Kenny was safely on the ground next to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where do you wanna go, Leo?” Kenny asked, tossing his arm around Butters. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The park?” He asked, more than said. No matter how many times they had done this, he still never quite knew where he wanted to go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny nodded wordlessly and steered the two of them in the direction of the park. It was a quiet night, so neither boy really wanted to talk. Peace and quiet in South Park were rare, so when anyone ever had some, they made the best of it. Tonight they could hear the crickets, despite the cold air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny still had his arm around his friend's shoulders. He saw him shiver a bit, he probably should have waited for Butters to grab a coat. Silently, Kenny shrugged off his parka and placed it around the short blonde's shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look cold,” He mumbled when Butters gave him a questioning look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned away before he could see a faint blush on Butters’ cheeks that wasn’t from the cold. “Thanks, Kenny.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know,” Kenny said quietly after a while, “I missed doing this, it’s fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even though we’re just walking?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, even though we’re just walking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny risked a glance at his friend. He was smiling and looking up at the sky, filled with stars. His cheeks were rosy from the cold. Kenny immediately paused, he remembered what happened last time, there was no reason to repeat those events.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the speeding car passed, they walked across the street. Maybe if he didn’t die everything would be fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leo,” Kenny whispered into the cold air, “Thank you for inviting me out, this was fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you’re welcome Kenny!” Butters was smiling wider now, “It’s always nice hanging out with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny stopped dead in his tracks, and Butters stopped too. He reached for his friend's hands and in the moonlight, he would have sworn that Butters was a god. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, your hands are freezing, I’ll walk you home,” Kenny said softly. Still holding on to one of Butters’ hands he led him back home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny watched as Butters climbed up the tree and when he was sure he was safe he turned around and headed home. He wrapped his arms around himself, he let Butters keep his parka that night, hopefully, Cartman would never find out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He would never find out if Kenny was still having the problem he really hoped he wasn’t. Even if he wasn’t having the problem, Kenny would rather shove a stake through his heart than give Cartman anything else to be insane about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite how careful Kenny had been that night, he forgot to tie his shoes, which he only realized as he was falling. His head hit the concrete and everything went black.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Fucking Time Loops</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kenny sat up in bed, the same sun shining through his window. He reached over to check the date on his phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck,” he mumbled, tossing his phone down on his bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he was right. So what? Tons of weird things happen in South Park, Kenny being stuck in a time loop was nothing he couldn’t handle. In movies or books when a character gets stuck in a time loop it usually takes them at least 3 days to figure it out, Kenny had done it in one.  If he could figure it out so quickly, he should have no trouble fixing it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could do this. He could break the loop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took him 30 minutes to realize he was wrong.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had kept everything the same, at least until he got to school, just in case, but the moment he stepped through the doors he slipped one a gum wrapper, and his head once again collided, quite painfully, against the hard floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He woke up back in his bed. The same date was displayed on his phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” He said to himself, “Maybe this will be slightly harder than I thought. It’s nothing I can't handle.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gathered his things and made his way back to school. He managed to get through half the school day before choking on a french fry that Stan had offered him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny attempted making it through the school day four more times, but every time he died in some horribly dumb way. So he did what any teenager would do. It was the only logical thing to do, after all. He gave up going to school and he had some fun. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fun being a relative term in this case. </span>
</p>
<p><span>He smoked the days away. </span>At least, until that got boring and redundant. He didn’t feel like going through the hassle of attempting to get Craig or Stan to skip school with him. So, he made company of himself. </p>
<p>
  <span>After getting bored of his room, and having it feel more like a prison to him than a safe place, Kenny tried to find a new place every day. His favorite place to smoke he discovered was laying on the train tracks. There was something about knowing you couldn’t die and that everything would just repeat that made him feel alive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But even that indescribable feeling wore off and things started to blur together. That’s when Kenny decided the hassle of convincing Craig or Stan to skip school was worth the trouble. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He succeeded in convincing Stan to skip school so they could hang out. Though, convincing him only worked half the time and it was a rather difficult process. Craig almost always said no, he was in too much trouble for ditching as it already was. But, Stan was enough company for Kenny.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pattern that Stan followed was interesting, he would get bored of smoking after a few hits. He said it reminded him too of much of home and then he’d be in a sour mood for the rest of the day, so Kenny started to suggest drinking instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As much fun as getting drunk with Stan was, it started to wear Kenny down. It wasn’t the best decision on Kenny’s part either, he should have been trying to help Stan, protect him even, but no. At this point, he was ready to manipulate anyone for anything, and the day would just repeat, so no real harm was done, right? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, drinking got boring too, so Kenny stopped dragging Stan out of school.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What was most likely a few weeks later, maybe more Kenny wasn’t sure of himself, Kenny couldn’t think. And he couldn’t just sit in his room, his skin was crawling and he was sure he’d go insane. So he went back to school, purely to be with his friends, but it made him want to tear his hair out. They said the same things, wore the same clothes, had the same fights, and had the same comebacks. Kenny was starting to really feel like a prisoner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe this was his punishment, he thought to himself during lunch, maybe his time had finally run out and this was truly hell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that thought exited his mind quickly when he saw Wendy punch Cartman for what must be the 50th time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He never stopped her. Wendy was, well, Wendy. Seeing her break Cartman’s nose daily filled Kenny with so much joy, and Cartman deserved it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wendy definitely deserved this place she had carved out for herself on top. It was truly a wonder that no one was into her. Then again, she was terrifying. And Kenny was only terrified of three people: Kyle, Butters, when he was in a bad mood or protecting someone, and Wendy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wendy was fiercely loyal to the people she loved and she knew what she deserved. And what she deserved was respect. Anyone who didn’t give it to her always faced the consequences.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny paused as he watched her storm out of the lunchroom. And then it came to him. Wendy would know what to do. She was the smartest kid in school, Kyle could barely keep up with her, not without lack of trying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He ditched his friends to follow her out into the hall, “Wendy, wait up!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kenny,” She paused, clearing her face of any emotion, “What do you want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned up against the set of lockers next to him and wiggled his eyebrows, “A date.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A date? Really?” She wasn’t surprised, just annoyed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At the library,” He continued, pulling himself to stand tall. Women like that didn’t they? Tall men?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A date at the library,” Wendy raised an eyebrow and straightened her pink beret,  “Kenny, we both know your charm doesn’t work on me. Spit it out. What do you want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed and pushed his parka hood down, “I want to know about time loops. I figured since you’re the smartest person in South Park, you could help me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” she said as if it were the most normal thing to bring up in a conversation, “Okay, I can definitely help you with that, it’ll be fun. I’ll walk with you to the library after school.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great, thank you so much.” Kenny smiled and blew her a kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you’re joking, but the flirting is annoying.” She stated before she left for class.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hanging out with Wendy in the library was the first thing he had done in weeks that didn’t involve smoking or drinking or laying on the floor contemplating the meaning of life. It was the first time he wasn’t swimming in his own thoughts. It was refreshing. Even the eeriness of the library didn’t really seem to sink its claws into him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So time loops,” Wendy jumped into explaining the moment they entered, “Are really quite fascinating, and really easy to understand if you have the right materials.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny could only nod and follow her. She started pulling books off of shelves and only stopped when both of their arms were filled with books. She plopped her stack down on an empty table, sat down, and made a motion for him to follow. He did without question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So this is easy reading?” Kenny asked her, the many books were intimidating, to say the least.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” she stated, “But reading these will make it easy to understand. I’ll start finding passages and handing them to you to read. You’ll explain to me what you think you’ve just read, I’ll try and fix whatever you said was wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny nodded and under his breath, he mumbled, “This is going to be fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wendy, of course, heard him, “It won't, but it will be worth it.” She gave him a soft smile before cracking the first book open.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>About five hours and at least 30 books later Kenny felt like he knew everything there was to know about time loops. However, none of what he learned told him anything about how to break a time loop and that wasn’t something you just ask a person. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spending longer than he had ever wanted in a library with Wendy had made him see things from an interesting point of view. He had too much power now. No one would remember anything he did until he could solve the problem. </span>
  <span>He promised himself that he would try to keep things the same from now on, he didn’t want to do something he would regret.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sometimes Pizza Ends In A Bullet Wound</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TW: In the second half Kenny bleeds out.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have never actually been shot, so I don't actually know what it feels like, so while reading the second half of this chapter take that into account and set your expectations accordingly.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>How many ways has he tried at this point? Kenny couldn’t remember. It had been at least a month, definitely longer, since the loop started. The days started to blur together and everything was the same.</p>
<p>He could only go through a few actions at a time, making sure that he could cross whatever he had done off the list. Don’t make breakfast, wear a different shirt, don't yell at Cartman, whatever he did, nothing ever changed. He could never break the loop. </p>
<p>It was starting to get frustrating. All he wanted was to sleep. </p>
<p>But every time he went to sleep he woke up in the same bed, on the same day, with the same fucking sun. He was starting to hate it, because there it was, sitting in the sky, taunting him.</p>
<p>Today was a new day, so Kenny pushed himself out of bed and proceeded on with his day. He had to keep trying. He had to break the loop and get on with his life. Laying in bed all day, or smoking, or drinking, or doing anything fun, would be a waste of time.  </p>
<p>He tried to do everything the same. Again. He made breakfast for Karen and walked her to school, he even kept the conversation going despite the fog in his brain because as he had learned early on, not interacting with Karen did nothing but make him feel guilty. And feeling guilty made him feel even worse, and he wanted no reason to make things worse for himself.</p>
<p>So when Cartman was waiting at his locker like always, Kenny took a deep breath in and prepared himself. </p>
<p>“Cartman, I’m not in the mood. Find someone else to complain to,” He commanded before Cartman even had a chance to speak.</p>
<p>“Wow, what crawled up your ass and died today?” He snickered.</p>
<p>Kenny only shrugged and opened his locker, “ I will only say this once today, I do not care, fuck off.”</p>
<p>Cartman held up his hands in surrender, “Okaaaayyyy.” Then he spotted Butters, called out to him, and did a sort of jog up to him. “See ya later Kenny! Fix the attitude!”</p>
<p>Butters shot Kenny a terrified look, which he returned with a reassuring smile. Maybe ignoring Cartman would fix the day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you fucking kidding me!” Kenny shouted as he pressed a towel to his side. Blood was quickly soaking the towel and it covered his hands.</p>
<p>Kenny’s mind was racing. <em>This hadn’t happened before.</em></p>
<p>“Oh my god!” Kyle practically screeched. He looked over at Stan, hoping for some reassurance.</p>
<p>
  <em>Why the fuck is this happening?</em>
</p>
<p>Stan knelt next to him and pushed Kenny to lie down, “Dude, if you try to sit up it could get worse.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Since when did the day change. What the hell did he change to end up getting shot? Oh, right. </em>
</p>
<p>“Remind me to never get shot again,” Kenny mumbled, trying not to cough. </p>
<p><em>Remind me to never.</em> Kenny thought, <em>Never give in to getting pizza ever again.</em> </p>
<p>Kyle frowned, “That’s not funny, Kenny.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, not funny Kenny!” Cartman mimicked. He hadn’t moved to help, he was frozen, standing a few feet away with his eyes had glossed over.</p>
<p>“Cartman, I swear to god.” Kyle snapped at him, he opened his mouth to say something else but Stan put a hand on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Kenny, do you think we can move you to my truck?” Stan asked him, “We can bring you to the hospital.”</p>
<p>“Are you crazy!” Kyle’s eyes widened, “We can’t move him! We have to call an ambulance!”</p>
<p>“Guys,” Kenny said as he pushed Stan’s hand off to sit up. “It’s fine. I’m good. Come on, help me up.”</p>
<p>Kyle and Stan exchanged a worried glance, but Stan extended a hand to help Kenny up. “You good?”</p>
<p>“Yup, I’m fine.” He stated after finding his balance, “Kyle, do you still keep that sewing kit in Stan’s car?”</p>
<p>“I’m not fucking sewing up a bullet wound with a sewing kit! What the fuck!”</p>
<p>“I’m not saying you have to do it, I can do it, I just need the kit, or just drop me off at my house,” Kenny replied.</p>
<p>“We can’t just bring you home!” Kyle turned to Stan for support, “Stan! Tell him!”</p>
<p>Stan looked between Kyle and Kenny and took a breath in, but before he could say anything Cartman jumped in, “Jesus Christ, just bring him home. He clearly doesn't care.”</p>
<p>Kenny gave him a nod and proceeded to climb into Stan’s truck, despite Kyle's protest. This whole situation could be solved if he told them. But how would that sound? He wondered as his friends climbed in after him. <em>Hey guys, I’m stuck in a time loop, so I won't actually die, I’ll repeat the day, and even if I wasn’t you won't remember me dying at all. </em></p>
<p>As Stan started the truck Kenny leaned against the door, he should have sat in the front seat, but he didn’t feel like having to deal with Cartman and Kyle sitting next to each other. That would make the whole getting shot in the side situation worse. At least Cartman just left him alone. He never did handle Kenny’s deaths well.</p>
<p>In the front Stan and Kyle were having a very anxious looking conversation, Kenny could only catch every other word, and he was trying his best to not listen in. </p>
<p>“But Stan!” Kyle whispered loudly.</p>
<p>Kenny looked out the window but quickly decided to throw his parka over his head. The light was giving him a terrible headache. How long would he be able to keep doing this?</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I don’t know,” Stan whispered back.</p>
<p>“Would you two shut the fuck up!” Cartman blurted suddenly. “Christ.”</p>
<p>“Watch it fatass!” Kyle retorted. </p>
<p>“You’re arguing is not helping Kenny!”</p>
<p>“Kenny wanted to go home,” Kyle turned to face him, “Which you supported. So. If you want to be a bitch about it, you can get out and walk home. I don’t want to deal with you.”</p>
<p>“Stan! Control your boyfriend.” Cartman grumbled and crossed his arms, sinking back into his seat. </p>
<p>“Cartman, shut up.” Stan sighed, “I don’t want to deal with whatever the fuck it is you’re still on about, okay?”</p>
<p>“Guys,” Kenny mumbled. “Pull over.”</p>
<p>“What?” Stan asked, having barely heard him.</p>
<p>“Pull over,” He said again, straining his voice to talk louder. </p>
<p>Stan turned to look at him, he could feel his heart skip a few beats when he saw how pale Kenny looked. ”Okay.”</p>
<p>Kenny pushed himself out of the truck and back onto the sidewalk. He clenched his teeth as he laid down on the cold cement. “Dying is so much easier when it's just you,” He joked humorously as he stared up at the orange sky. </p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Cartman grumbled as he got out of the truck, “Kenny we don’t have time for you to just lie on the sidewalk.”</p>
<p>“This,” Kenny pointed at his side, “Was your fault. You wanted pizza. We went out to get you pizza, and now I'm bleeding. Don’t complain about me wanting to lay down”</p>
<p>“You’re not just bleeding,” Kyle added, he was close to hysterics and his voice had risen an octave, “You’re dying!”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Kenny rolled his eyes. This really was so much easier without other people. “I know.”</p>
<p>“You know!” </p>
<p>“Kyle,” Stan said softly, stepping closer to him, “Maybe we should just let him do what he wants.”</p>
<p>Kyle gestured widely at Kenny lying on the ground, “Do what he wants? He’s bleeding out and lying on the ground!”</p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Kenny squeezed his eyes shut, “Just let me die, it will be fine.”</p>
<p>“Kenny,” Kyle said his name with mock calmness, “You dying on the sidewalk will not just “be fine”</p>
<p>“Kyle’s right, dude, we can’t just let you die,” Stan added.</p>
<p>“I wished the guy had just shot me in the head.” </p>
<p>“Me too,” Cartman added, frowning. </p>
<p>Kyle turned to yell at Cartman and Kenny smiled. He closed his eyes, his friends’ bickering was something that never changed. </p>
<p>Kenny let the yelling fade into a dull background noise until he was inches from death. It was the first time since the time loop started, that he felt somewhat at peace. His friends were with him, acting as they always do, it was something so normal to him. He had died many times, surrounded by his friends' bickering, and for once it was nice. </p>
<p>As the strength left his body, he decided that if he couldn’t fix his problem soon, he might ask his friends for help.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know this chapter is so short, but the chapters after this should be getting longer.</p>
<p>Next week I have break, so there is a strong possibility that I post two chapters next week. If I do, it'll be a surprise for both you and me. I hope you're enjoying this story, thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Here We Go Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Kenny woke up back in his bed, he pulled the blanket up over his head and rolled over. Going to school was not something he was planning to do, he just wanted a day to himself, especially after dying over pizza. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a soft knock on the door, the same as it is every time Kenny wanted to skip school, “Kenny?” Karen asked softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mrph,” Kenny moaned into his pillow, “What time is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“7:46,” She said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny was tempted to get up to make sure he wouldn’t be late, but he really didn’t feel like it. “I’m not feeling well today Karen, I think I’m going to skip today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, okay,” Before closing the door Karen added softly, “I hope you feel better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks. Have a good day at school,” Kenny replied before rolling over and trying to fall asleep again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he really did try. But he laid in bed for a solid hour trying to will himself asleep. He couldn’t get sleep to come. Instead his mind was racing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Should he tell his friends? Would they even believe him? Weird things always happen to them all the time. They had even met aliens, Cartman was friends with Cthulhu for a while, ads had even come to life. Being stuck in a time loop could be considered child’s play. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then again, Kenny’s friends never believed him when he tried to explain that he can’t die. So he wasn’t really sure what to do. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Weird things happen to them all the time, but that was to </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of them, when things happened to just Kenny, they didn’t care. He supposed it had to do with the fact that Cartman thought that he was the center of the universe. Kenny was starting to believe that he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny felt his skin start to crawl so he threw back his blankets and got up. He threw on his clothes, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but at that moment, having a cigarette sounded like a great idea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He went to the loose floorboard where he kept his emergency pack and took one out. Kenny held it between his lips as he lit it, but after one puff he got an antsy feeling, so he put it out and sat defeatedly in the center of his room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck!” He screamed into the empty house, “Fuck!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried lying on his floor, but it made him feel worse, like something was crawling on him. He huffed a sigh, got up, put on his parka, and grabbed his backpack. There wasn’t anything else for him to do. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Kenny was walking to school, he passed the library.  He considered going in and having another look around but decided against it. It wasn’t until he had walked for five more minutes when he turned around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He really didn’t want to go to school and he really needed to figure this out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he opened the doors he was greeted by the overwhelming smell of well used books and a table full of books about Chakras and magic and how to use tarot cards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then it clicked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe the time loop had nothing to do with the sciency things Wendy had explained to him. Maybe it was magic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny looked around for someone to ask for help. The only other person there was a woman with short hair, a long skirt, and a large sweater, who was in the middle of shelving books. He didn’t want to interrupt her, but he really did not know where he should be looking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” He said quietly to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned around quickly, almost alarmed, and pushed up her hexagonal glasses, “Oh, hello, what can I help you with?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, uh,” how should he say this? “I’m looking for books on, uh, curses, possibly. Maybe time loops? I don’t really know specifically.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smiled widely, “That’s okay, it’ll be like a scavenger hunt.” She clapped her hands and rubbed them together, “Now, you said curses, so let’s start there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She led him down a few isle and he watched as she scanned the shelves, finally she came to a small section of shelf, “Ah, here we are.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She started pulling some books off the shelf, “Normally people come in here and they ask for the most boring books, usually romance, not that there’s anything wrong with romance, but sometimes you just want to find something more exciting, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She handed two books to Kenny, he smiled, “I guess so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And time loops you said? Do you want something like breaking time loops, or magic induced time loops, maybe how to put someone in a time loop, though I did check a book out on the last one to someone else.” She pursed her lips and started walking to a different section without really waiting for him to answer her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Those would be great,” He responded, trailing after her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here,” She said after handing him a stack of five books, “These should cover everything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, of course, now let's get these checked out,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny followed her as she walked to the front desk. “Not many kids come in and ask for different topics, it’s really a nice change. There’s this one boy who comes in every month or so and asks for different topics. Once he came in and asked for books on nuclear weapons and foreign policy, and there was another time when he only got books on medieval history, and also fantasy, and I think there were some historical fashion books in there too. He also gets lots of books on guinea pigs. He’s such a nice boy too, he always has such interesting interests. And he’s always so polite.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny nodded and pushed his books across the desk to her. He didn’t want to mention that she was talking about his friend, but he did have to agree, Tweek’s hyperfixations were always so interesting. He smiled a bit, remembering the time Tweek spent an hour explaining different methods of cooking in medieval time to him, Butters, and Craig. That was a fun day. He really missed days like that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, and he has that lovely boyfriend too,” The librarian added, “He always picked out books on space. Well, sometimes it’s space, but he also recently branched out to astrology.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pushed the stack of books back to Kenny, “I hope you have fun with these. And if you don’t find what you’re looking for, let me know, I’ll try and see if I can get anything specific in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Kenny responded with what he hoped was equal enthusiasm, “You’ve been super helpful. Have a nice day!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You too!” She waved at him as he left, “Don’t forget those books will be due in 3 weeks!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny placed his books down on the cafeteria table in front of him. He wasn’t planning on eating today, he needed to get through these books before the end of the day, otherwise he’d have to go back to the library, and he definitely wouldn’t remember all of the titles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Since when did you read during lunch?” Kyle asked him, raising an eyebrow at the stack of books. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shrugged and opened the first book in the pile, “Since I’m stuck in a time loop.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle rolled his eyes, “Okay, fine don’t tell me. But will you at least tell me why Cartman is mad at me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It suddenly occurred to Kenny just then that since this whole thing had started, he hadn’t even thought to see what would happen if Kyle found out. He didn’t have anything else to lose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, so,” Kenny looked up from his book, “He thinks that you’ve tricked Stan into loving you and that somehow you have magic powers that have turned him gay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Kyle said incredulously, his eyes widening and his cheeks turning bright red, “What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s serious too, he really thinks you tricked Stan,” and then before he could stop himself, he added, “You obviously didn’t because I don’t think even you’ve realized that he’s in love with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s in love with me!?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, definitely,” He turned back to his book, “Hey Stan.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stan didn’t greet him, he sat next to Kyle and immediately started drilling him, “Where have you been all day? Why do you have so many books? Did you go to the library? And most importantly, I cannot stress this enough, why the fuck do you have books on curses?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The library. I’m researching. Yes. Because I’m researching how to break them.” Kenny replied, “Happy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh,” Stan smiled awkwardly and raised his eyebrow, “No. But, I’m just going to pretend I don't care. Because that’s a little weird, dude.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny shrugged in response and turned back to the book he was trying to read. At this rate, he’d never get through it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kenny!” Kyle yelled at him, “You can’t just use Stan and your books to ignore me! Especially after what you just said! Since when? Since when, Kenny?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Since forever. Did you really not notice?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not to get in the middle of whatever is happening here,” Stan interjected, “But can we have a conversation where I know what’s happening?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Kyle said, “Cartman is mad at me, why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stan rubbed the back of his neck, “No reason.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, well, in that case,” Kyle turned to Kenny, “We’ll continue having this conversation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny sighed, “No, we won't.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we will,” Kyle said, after seeing Cartman approaching the table, “Hey, fatass, why are you mad at me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because, Kahl, you’re a dirty jew who’s managed to turn Stan into a fag.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Jesus Christ, will I have to remind you of this every time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “Thank you Cartman.” Kyle turned to look at Stan, ”Now, Stan. Care to add anything?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh…” He sat there like a deer in headlights, “Um…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, Butters showed up to his rescue. “Hiya fellas!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Butters!” Stan cheered, “It’s so good of you to join us. How has your day been so far?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters smiled as he placed his tray next to Kenny’s books, “Oh, geez. Boring? Not much has happened today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stan’s face fell and he looked at his tray, “Oh. Well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Christ, okay.” Kyle threw his lunch back into his lunchbox, “I’m gonna leave. See you all later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After he left Stan gave Kenny and Cartman a death glare. “What. Did. You. Do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cartman held his hands up in surrender, “Nothing, I swear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kenny?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I may or may not have told him why Cartman is mad at him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You knew?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cartman looked over at him, puzzled, “I didn’t tell you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did.” Kenny said snapping  his book. There was no way he’d be getting through it here. “But not today. I’m stuck in a time loop, I’ve done this day so many times, I hadn’t seen what Kyle would do if I told him. So I did. Now, are we done here? I need to get through these books.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He picked up his stack of books and fled the lunch room. He took them to the only place he knew would be quite. The roof. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is absolutely unimportant information to the story, but I need you all to know. The librarian is a lesbian. Does that have anything to do with the story? No. But it is important to me that you know that.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Roof</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a very short chapter, I'm sorry! It's a sort of filler chapter, but after this things should start to pick up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kenny took a deep breath of fresh air when he stepped out on the roof. He smiled to himself, it was definitely the right decision. There were no people, or questions, or childish feuds, just him and the sounds of nature.</p><p>He went close to the edge, placed his books down, and sat next to them. He opened the one he was trying to read in the cafeteria, one all about how to break curses, and quickly got to reading.  </p><p>He had managed to get well into the first chapter when the door to the stairs opened. Butters appeared, knocking his fists together.</p><p>“Hi, Kenny. Mind if I join you?”</p><p>"Oh, not at all," Kenny said, offering him a small smile. He patted the space next to him, "You can sit with me if you want."</p><p>Butters smiled widely, "Oh, okay. Cool."</p><p>Once he had come to sit next to Kenny, he looked at the book in his hand. "What is that you're reading?"</p><p>"Oh, something really boring about breaking curses," Kenny replied.</p><p>"Curses?"</p><p>"Yeah, it's for a project." </p><p>"What kind of project? Something probably pretty interesting, huh?"</p><p>"Yeah, it actually kind of is." Kenny looked down at the book cover. "I couldn't really get through much with all the guys talking."</p><p>"Heh, yeah," Butters kept his eyes on Kenny, "They can be pretty noisy."</p><p>"I think pretty noisy is an understatement." Kenny laughed, before looking back up at Butters and frowning slightly, "Leo? What are you doing up here? Shouldn't you be in class?"</p><p>"I- uh," Butters stammered, "Technically, yes. I should be. But I wanted to come to check on you. You missed the first half of the day, and you seemed to be in a bad mood."</p><p>"That's really sweet of you, Leo. But you didn't have to, I'm okay."</p><p>"I know I didn't have to," Butters smiled at him, "I wanted to."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Butters was quiet for a moment, but then he asked softly, "Do you mind if I stay up here a little while longer. I won't bother you if you want to read."</p><p>"Of course I don't mind," Kenny looked at him and offered a small smile, "I'd love the company."</p><p>Butters grinned from ear to ear but refused to make eye contact, "Oh good. Because I really don't want to go to class."</p><p>Kenny laughed, "Does anyone ever want to go to class?" </p><p>"I suppose not, Kyle sometimes likes it. I think maybe Stan, as long as it's not math."</p><p>"Ha, yeah, he hates math." Kenny looked down at his book and sighed, "Okay, please don't take this wrong way and I don't want to be rude, but do you mind if I do some reading?"</p><p>"Oh, that's okay Kenny. I'm the one bothering you anyway."</p><p>"Leo," Kenny said slowly, "You never bother me. It's just I really want to get through this stack of books."</p><p>His cheeks turned a faint pink, "Okay."</p><p>So the boys sat silently on the roof. It didn't feel awkward to either of them. The silence felt natural and safe. But really, the company of the other made them feel more at ease. </p><p>After a few minutes of sitting side by side, their shoulders pressed together, Butters started to feel a bit stiff sitting up so straight. He let himself lay down, and very slowly he placed his head in Kenny's lap. Kenny smiled softly to himself and maneuvered his book so that Butters could rest his head comfortably. He held the book up in one hand and with the other, he absent-mindedly played with Butter's hair. </p><p>Before either of them knew, the final bell rang, and despite the noise of teenagers eagerly grabbing their bags and rushing out of the school, the two of them still felt at peace. They were in their own little world after all. </p><p>"Hey, Kenny," Butters said softly, "Do you think that maybe we should get up now?"</p><p>"Hmm," Kenny checked the number of pages left in the book, only 50. So he looked up at the sky, the sun was still up and vibrant, "We don't have to unless you want to."</p><p>"Okay," He said, "Because I'm a little cold."</p><p>"Why didn't you say so?" Kenny carefully placed his book down and took his parka off carefully and laid it on Butters like a blanket. "There. Better?"</p><p>"Yeah, thank you."</p><p>"Anything for my Buttercup," Kenny replied.</p><p>"Kenny?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Why do you call me that?"</p><p>"What? Buttercup?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"It suits you." He shrugged, "It's cute."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Hey, if you're still cold, want to go somewhere else?"</p><p>"Actually," Butters turned to look up at Kenny, "That would be great. It’s actually a lot colder than I thought. And I need to grab my stuff."</p><p>"Okay," Kenny said, closing his book and adding to the stack he carried with him. With the stack secure in one of his arms, he extended his free hand to Butters to help him up. </p><p>As the two of them walked through the empty halls of the school they were silent. Butters was contemplating asking Kenny what he meant earlier during lunch, but every time he thought he found the words he got distracted by Kenny adjusting his stack of books or his hand that was still holding Kenny’s. Kenny was just hyper-aware of how Butters’ hand fit in his. </p><p>When they finally came to Butters’ locker he got the courage to ask, “Say, Kenny, what did you mean when you said you were stuck in a time loop?”</p><p>“Huh,” Kenny paused, “Oh, yeah. I didn’t really mean anything by it.”</p><p>“Kenny.” </p><p>“Leo.” He mimicked his tone.</p><p>Butter turned to look him in the eye, “You know if you ever need help, I’m here for you.”</p><p>Kenny held his gaze, “I know.”</p><p>Butters nodded, as if his response was a solid answer, and turned to close his locker, “Good. Now, what do you want to do?”</p><p>“Go somewhere warm, preferably,” Kenny grinned before draping his arm over Butters’ shoulders. </p><p>“Perfect,” Butters started down the hall, “But, uh, my parents are home, so we can't go there.”</p><p>“Okay,” Kenny thought for a moment, “We could go to the library?”</p><p>“Weren’t you just there?”</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s warm, and who’s gonna bother us? Cartman?” Kenny laughed, “I don’t think he’s seen the inside of a library in years.”</p><p>Butters hesitated for a moment, but gave in pretty quickly, “Okay.”</p><p>Kenny smiled warmly, “Great. Let’s go.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Again, I'm sorry that this was so short, next week's chapter will be much longer!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Two Bros Chilling In A Park 5 Inches Apart Because They’re Not Not Gay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, sorry this is late, I’ve had a very long week. Hope you like this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kenny spent the rest of the day with Butters in the library. He felt the smallest twinge of guilt when he saw the boy take out his homework. Maybe he should pay a little more attention to him, but sitting together in the warm library, just reading, was the most normal thing he had done. Sure he had felt this way a little before, but there was something about doing homework side by side with a friend that made the highschool experience what it was, and that made everything feel normal for a few hours.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He even managed to make it through all of the books he had checked out, because some of the books only had one chapter on whatever he was looking for. At this point he wasn’t even sure what he was looking for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Kenny closed the last book he decided that he’d research this all again, when it wasn’t a stressful situation, because it turned out to be one of the most interesting things he had ever learned about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked over at Butters who was viciously scribbling in a notebook, with sheer concentration on his face, and his tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth. In the pit of Kenny’s stomach, he felt a warm feeling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t something he had felt before, at least that he’d admit. He tended to push down these kinds of feelings because they were new and confusing and they were definitely something he didn’t need to deal with. The only thing usually on his mind was supporting Karen, figuring out why he couldn’t die, and making it through another day with his friends. Occasionally he’d make room for whatever was going on in school, but it was still never a top priority.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leo,” Kenny whispered, not wanting to startle him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters looked up at him, “Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny looked down at his phone, “It’s getting kind of late, we should probably get you back home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, geez,” Butters eyes widened, “Where did the time go?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What time is your curfew again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, 8 o’clock, but that’s if I don’t want dinner. I have to be home by 7:15 if I want it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny frowned, “Leo, why didn’t you tell me? We’ll never make it to your house by then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s okay Kenny. I’ll just have some of the snacks I’ve been keeping in my room for times like these,” Butters gave him a big smile as he started packing away his school things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His frown deepened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s really okay, I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even if Butters promised a thousand times that it was okay, Kenny had already made up his mind, “You’re not going home until you get a proper dinner.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have enough money on me,” Butters countered, “And it’s really not that big of a deal, this happens almost twice a week.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have some money, I think, we can have a little feast.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kenny,” Butters says sadly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Kenny grabs all the books he had been reading and stands up, “Come on, let’s go!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters smiles despite himself and shoves the last of his school things into his backpack. Before they leave Kenny throws all the books into the return box and waves goodbye to the librarian. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gee, I can’t believe the time got away from us like that,” Butters started as they stepped into the cold night air. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say we were only in there for a few minutes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny shrugged, “Time is a human construct.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, that’s,” Butters squirted at him while trying to figure out what to say to that, “A fun thought.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t it?” Kenny turned to him, “So what do you eat?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you Kenny, it’s really okay. I have snacks in my room.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright then, I guess I’m choosing.” Kenny took off down the sidewalk and Butters had to do a slight jog to catch up with him. “I’m feeling like chicken nuggets, would you be okay with that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters accepted his fate, “Yeah, I do kinda want french fries.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” Kenny nodded, “Then it’s decided.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So the two of them set off to the fast food. Kenny was determined to do something nice for Butters, but he was also determined to get him home in enough time so that his parents didn’t ground him. Even if they did, Kenny didn’t want to take the chance that he could wake up into a new day and have him grounded because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>thought </span>
  </em>
  <span>things would continue the same. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As the sun was disappearing behind the homes of South Park the two boys sat down on one of the benches in the park and took their food out of their bags. They didn’t talk until the fries and chicken nuggets were almost all gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is really nice Ken,” Butters says in between french fries, “But you really didn’t have to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny sighed, “Leo, I did this because I wanted to. Is there really any harm in treating my best friend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters hand froze and his eyes got big, “Best friend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, best friend,” Kenny laughed and reached to ruffle Butters hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s nice Kenny,” The corners of Butters’ mouth turned up, but he stopped himself, “I woulda thought Craig was your best friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh, you’re right,” When Kenny saw the worried look dawn Butters’ face he quickly added, “I guess that makes us whatever Stan and Kyle have. What do they call themselves again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Super best friends?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny pursed his lips, “That won't do. What do you think we should call ourselves? It has to be better than “super best friends””</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh…” Butters looked off into the distance, “I don’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny laughed, “That’s alright. We can think of something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I can think of something</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Kenny corrected himself. He would think of something good, and try to have this conversation with Butters after this whole ordeal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Butters offered him a small smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them finished their meal quickly, exchanging conversation even faster. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they were done, they sat quietly, watching the sky dissolve from orange to a rich navy. It wasn’t long until Butters’ eyelids felt heavy and his head fell onto Kenny’s shoulder. Kenny kept himself still as he had earlier that day in fear that if he moved Butters would bolt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leo,” Kenny said softly, “I hate to do this, but we should probably get you home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm, I know,” Butters whispered, and then so quietly that Kenny could barely hear him, “ I wish we could stay like this forever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny hummed thoughtfully, “I would enjoy that,” he whispered gently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But despite what Kenny wanted, he stood up, and held his hand out to Butters to pull him up. When they were both standing, neither of them let go of each other’s hand. Kenny looked down to stare with wide eyes at their hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kenny?” Butters questioned, his voice barely audible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny tore his eyes away and looked up into Butters eyes. “I- “</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thing was, Kenny didn’t know what he was going to say. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say. His tongue was barren and his thoughts were running away from him. There weren’t any words that would describe what he was feeling or what was going through his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah,” Butters pulled his hand away and knocked his knuckles together, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to- ah, sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, there’s nothing to apologize for.” Kenny hurriedly said, “Come on, let's get you home.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The walk to Butters home was slow. Every few moments Kenny would look over to him, trying to think of what to say. He’d open his mouth to say something, anything at this point. But there was nothing for him to say, so he stared ahead and shoved his hands in his parka pockets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Butters’ house finally came into view, Kenny stopped walking. Butters turned to him, with a puzzled look on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to risk your dad getting more mad at you,” Kenny rubbed the back of his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, okay.” Butters walked back to him, “Goodnight Kenny.” He said before wrapping him in a hug, “Thanks again, for tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Kenny hugged him back, “Goodnight Leo.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny stood there glued to his spot on the sidewalk as he watched as Butters was greeted by his father, arms crossed and a scowl on his face, and went inside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t tell why, but a pit in his stomach formed and his shoulders grew heavy, as if he were Atlas, carrying the world on his shoulders. He chalked it up to a side effect of his life. Kenny was fated to be alone. Even apart from the time loop, with him dying all the time, there was never really a chance for relationships, even strong platonic ones. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While sitting at lunch, or coming up with schemes or stopping them with his friends there was always something missing. Something incredibly wrong. It felt like missing the train by mere seconds, he couldn’t change it, but worst of all, he couldn’t figure out what was wrong. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands until everything was a bit blurry and he sighed. He dropped his hands to his sides and turned around to head home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck me,” He mumbled to himself, and then despite his self and the fear of alarming everyone in their houses, he screamed it louder, ”Fuck me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t checking when he stepped out onto the crosswalk, it wasn’t until he saw the car swerve around him and come to a quick stop when he realized. He felt himself freeze up, but when the owner of the car popped their head out the window to shout, “Hey kid! Be more careful, I could have hit you!”, he realized he was, for once, completely fine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny quickly scrambled to get back on the sidewalk. Once he was safely away from the road, he checked himself over. There were no gashes and bruises. The only sign that he could have been killed was his shaking hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before he knew it, the little tremors in his hands became more like earthquakes. Kenny’s mind began to spin, and he could barely see anything. He gasped for breath, but no air would enter his lungs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a split second decision, that wasn’t particularly a decision, just Kenny acting on instinct, he sprinted down the street until he stood in front of Butters’ house. He was still struggling for breath, as he keeled over, hands on his knees to steady himself. After a few moments Kenny was able to breathe again, but everything out of place. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had died more times than he could count and yet pulling himself out of harm's way made him realize something. Something very important.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t find the strength in himself to stop as he scrambled up the tree and perched in front of Butters room. He wasn’t there, so he waited. Kenny didn’t want to cross the line in such a way. He wasn’t a creep. He would leave if Butters told him to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny pulled his parka tighter around him as he waited. Lucky for him, Butters soon entered his room and he didn’t have to freeze himself. When he saw Butters shut his door, he figured it was safe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pushed the window up, and scrambled into the room as if he were an animal coming in from the rain. Kenny stood near the window, suddenly aware of how </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong </span>
  </em>
  <span>he felt. His skin was crawling and his mind was still a whirlwind of thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters stopped in the dead middle of the room, jaw to the floor and eyes wide. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kenny?” Butters voice was equal parts of concern and confusion. “What are you doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>here?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It occurred to him that there was no good answer. There was no specific reason that he was there, just that he felt like he had to be. In fact there was no question Butters could ask that Kenny would be able to have an answer for him. How would he even start? Where would he begin?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters face softened, looking at Kenny with sad eyes. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny looked up into his eyes. He knew the honest answer. He tried to tell him, but the words got trapped on his tongue, “I- I-” He couldn’t help the tears that fell from his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters, without thinking, reached for Kenny, and wrapped the tall boy in his arms. Kenny sunk into the embrace and held onto him like he was a life line. Like he was the only real thing in the whole world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Butters whispered. “It’s okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a moment, Butters released him. He looked up, searching Kenny’s face for an answer, but found none. He nodded to himself, “I’ll get you a night shirt, hold on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Kenny could find enough strength to ask why, Butters tossed a large shirt his way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters noted his confused look, “You really think I would make you go home?” Butters asked before going behind his closet door to change. When he stepped out in light blue pajama set he said, “I know you, Kenny.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny couldn’t look him in the eye. He should be figuring this all out by himself, he shouldn’t be using his friends kindness so selfishly. But he was tired. He didn’t think he could find the energy to leave, or move from where he was frozen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters pulled back the covers, crawled into bed, and patted the empty space he made next to him. Kenny dragged himself over and collapsed next to him. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around Butters waist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made Butters chuckle lightly, which brought a smile to Kenny’s face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a breath before he said softly to Kenny, “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” Kenny looked up, but didn’t respond. “I know you, Kenny. You're in pain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butters moved to wrap himself around Kenny and then he covered them with his blanket, “But it’s okay that you don’t want to talk about it.” He kissed the top of his head, “You’re safe here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kenny couldn’t hold himself together longer, the tears came before he could stop them. He held Butters tighter to him. He didn’t have any control over anything, even his own emotions, but as he laid there in Butters arms he felt a strong sense of calm wash over him. For the first time in what felt like a millennia he felt better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt safe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And more importantly he felt loved.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. To Be Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys, so sorry that this is late, I've had a really shitty week. Turns out I should have just written this chapter anyway (I definitely wasn't projecting at all) it's cheaper than therapy. <br/>I hope you like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kenny woke the next morning he didn’t open his eyes. He was already painfully aware of what he was missing. He was already aware of the empty space next to him. He stuck out his arm to double-check, but when he groped around and found nothing, the safe feeling he had experienced the night before evaporated completely. He was no longer safe. He was no longer cared for. He was alone.</p><p>Kenny was aware of every inch of his body. It was frozen, and yet it felt like he was being burned alive. His skin was crawling and all he wanted to do was tear it off. His fingers itched to hook into skin and rip. To tear his skin off, he was sure, would solve his problems. He could feel like he belonged in it. He could feel like his body belonged to him. </p><p>When he was sure he was the only one left in his home, he let out an agonizing scream. It felt broken, it felt like it didn't come from him. And yet, it embodied all of his frustrations. It made his heart feel heavy like he had poured cement into it. If he was lucky maybe it would keep him down, and he wouldn't have to face the day or days ahead of him. </p><p>The feelings he was trying so hard to hide and shove down, the ones he couldn't hide any longer when Butters looked at him with such caring eyes, swallowed him whole. Kenny, now in mind, body, and soul was alone. </p><p>He felt the phantom of the way Butters had held him that night. The way he had hugged him close and kissed the top of his head. Without him next to Kenny, it felt like someone had carved off a chunk of his body. He was missing a piece of him. One that he didn't know existed. It only made everything hurt that much more.</p><p>He was alone in his bed. He was alone in his home. He was alone in the town. He was alone in the universe. Kenny was sure he'd be doomed to suffer through life, repeating everything alone until he lost all sanity.</p><p>When he hugged his knees to his chest and made himself the smallest he possibly could be, he let the tears come. Not that he could have stopped them.</p><p>The sunlight flooded his room. What once seem calm, like a blessing, was now an irritating reminder of what was wrong. How Kenny wished the sun would go away and never bother him again. He threw his blanket over his head. He couldn't kill the sun, but he could hide himself from it.</p><p>As he hid under the blanket, sobbing as if he had lost part of his soul, he wished, deeply, that he had someone to go through this hell with him. How cruel of a person would Kenny have to be to wish this on anyone else? How cruel of him to wish Butters could be next to him through it all.</p><p>Maybe he found clarity in the tears. In the unbearable silence that filled his ears. Or the sickening feeling of being alone that threatened to suffocate him. But he knew when the sun had finally made his retreat, that he couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't be alone anymore. It was killing him. </p><p>He needed his friends. He needed someone to hold him close and tell him that he was safe. He needed a hand to hold. He needed someone to smile at him and tell him that everything would be alright. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry that this chapter was so short, it's necessary (I think).</p><p>Also next week I'm taking a break, I have SATs so I will be incredibly stressed, but the week after I will be back!</p><p>(I will be nicer to Kenny next chapter.) </p><p>(maybe, no promises)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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